It's recap time!
I hadn't been running the past few weeks thanks to my feet problems.
I saw the PT last Tuesday and then looked at the wod for the day: Partner wod - 400 air squats, 4000m row. I asked the PT if he thought it would be okay considering my body issues and he said he didn't see any problem with it. What I failed to consider is that I hadn't exercised in two weeks, let alone done any crossfit. Instead of doing the actual wod, the boyfriend and I each did 200 air squats at home. I proceeded to be wobbly and sore the remainder of the week...willing and praying for my legs to flush out and recover in time for my Friday long run.
They did not.
So then Friday rolled around. I took the day off so I could run my 31 miles and not have it interfere with the Halloween party on Saturday and not do it on Sunday and be exhausted all week. The plan was to run five miles, get to my friend's house and have her join me for about 13 miles, then drop her off and pick up the boyfriend for the remainder of the run.
Reality was a little different. I woke up still sore but tried to stretch out as much as I could before heading out. I made my way downstairs where I was greeted with dog throw up. Fun times. I cleaned that up, prayed it wasn't a bad omen (it was), made some coffee, ate a few bites, and then finally got myself out the door. The five miles alone were rough. It was a battle between my mind and my body. My body was pulling out all the stops to ensure I did not complete this run, and my mind was in a constant argument with itself about whether to give in to the pain or to stop being a pussy and continue on. And it was cold as balls.
I got to my friend's house about 8 minutes behind schedule, which considering how awful I felt, didn't seem too bad. I filled her in on my condition and gave her a glimpse into my fragile state. She joked and offered for us to just stay at her house and have coffee and decorate for the party. Man was I pissed that I passed that up! Instead of chatting over coffee, we decided to pick up another friend on our way out of the neighborhood. I considered it another good opportunity for me to stop and strech...still trying to convince my muscles to cooperate.
Off we went down the main road with our sites set on the gym about four miles down. For as awful as I felt, I was so extremely grateful to have the company. At times I thought it would have been better to just suffer alone out there, and who knows...I might have grinded out more miles (probably not, but I'm weird that way...where suffering alone can somehow mean more miles get done). They kept me moving at a faster pace than I would have allowed my suffering body on my own and eventually we were at the gym.
Where I promptly threw in the towel. As I sat on the mats inside the gym trying to stretch out even more, I argued with myself about calling it quits for the day. We would still have to head back to my friend's house or me to my house. The thing that kept gnawing on me was that I was now 10 miles in and suffering way more than I should be at that point. Looking down the barrel of 20 more miles just did not do it for me. The three of us decided we would walk back.
I almost (okay, I did) cried on the walk back. It was brief before I made myself push it away (until I got home in the shower alone and cried more). I honestly just don't know why this has been such an emotionally charged training season. I wonder if part of it is because so many people believe in me and I feel like I need to live up to something I'm not even sure I can do. Uninjured me would have whooped this fifty miler's butt! I wish I had that same amount of faith in myself to complete this. Easier said than done when your body keeps pulling shenanigans on you.
SO, what did I do wrong this week?
2. Old shoes
3. Bad attitude
The good thing is I can fix those.
I am refraining from leg workouts for the time being.
I just ordered new trail shoes.
I am constantly working on fixing my negative attitude about this race. I'm a roller coaster with it.
I'm still not throwing in the towel, even with all of this that keeps happening. This weekend I intend on running the Heart Half Marathon in Loveland. I'm going to wake up early, run 5 miles, drive with the boyfriend to the race, run the point to point course, and then instead of taking the shuttle back to the race start and the car, I will (or rather WE will) run back to the car.
Bing Bang Boom - 31 miles.
This plan allows me the security of a race shuttle in case something flares up and I can't run back to the car, and allows me company. Bless his soul for agreeing to not only run the half marathon, which would be triple the distance of his longest run, but also agreeing to keep on running after the race to a full marathon distance...forgoing a free pancake breakfast!
If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If that works out for the 31 miles, I will feel a little more comfortable for what's approaching quickly. The following weekend I will plan for another long run, and another one the weekend after that. Then it's taper time. We are almost there! Then you won't have to hear me complaining all the time!
Now let's just hope my feet rest up in time for Saturday!