October 07, 2013

Why I Can't/Won't Quit My Ultra Marathon

Okay, well I may still be working on the answer to that statement.

Recap of Blue Sky Trail Marathon - (this is where you get lucky) There is no recap. It never happened.

You're welcome and goodnight.

Just kidding. Like I would have that short of a blog post EVER hah.

Where to begin this post...we'll start with Saturday. I finally slept in (til 9! whoop whoop!), took my time getting dressed, and drove out to watch my crossfit people get there swole on at a competition. The thing about going to those competitions is that I get to see everyone I miss (you know, from forever being absent at every wod) and I get to feel like part of the family again. That's great, and also the most horrible thing ever. I'm already hating my running life and a small, tiny little baby's breath of wind would knock me off my training plan so fast...

So I'm there, rooting everyone on, missing crossfit like whoa, feeling a little sorry for myself. At this point, I'm DREADING the race tomorrow. Let's be honest, I was dreading it way before Saturday. I got home later that afternoon and had a little cryfest to the boyfriend. I won't hash it all out again because I recently wrote on here all of my feelings. After crying a little and talking through some things, I decided that running on Sunday wasn't a good idea. I wasn't going to enjoy myself and clearly I needed the time to regroup. Later that evening I looked up the other race distances, contemplating switching my entry to the 50k or marathon. Luckily, they are sold out and not easy to switch into. I say luckily because I signed up to run 50 effing miles. I already have a 50k finisher's medal (it's actually not that cool so it'd be nice to get a new one...) and I already have a marathon medal. Not that the fact of me doing the 50 resides on medals. My point is, my dream wasn't to do those other distances. Been there done that type of thing. And as a friend put it, 'Is it better to finish something you know you can, or try at something that is harder than you thought possible?' I think my dream sucks balls right now, but nonetheless...I go forth.

With a smile on my face.

And positive thoughts in my head...

Fake-it-til-you-make-it style.


Things that resonated with me from this weekend:

A friend of mine asked about my running while spectating at the competition. I made a self deprecating remark (I do that a lot, especially in regards to my running). I said something along the lines of 'There's no way I'm going to finish it.' He simply said, 'Well, I know you're not going to quit'. I laughed it off and told him that he might be right, I might not quit, but I might be forced off from being too slow. He essentially told me to just make sure I was a fraction faster than that.

K.I.S.S - keep it simple, stupid.

For the last wod of the competition, the team had to complete four of the women. Isabelle, Grace, Diane, and Fran. These teams had already been through the ringer with a grueling two days and six wods. I watched our last Anchor team move through Isabelle, Grace, and Diane, and then it came down to Fran. I was so inspired watching that performance. The teammate completing Fran got through the 21 reps, then the 15 reps, and time was dwindling down for the 9 reps. It looked like it took every fiber to continue through those movements, but the last rep was done with literally seconds to spare. Over the two days, I watched these athletes dig deep when they thought they couldn't give anymore and keep working til the very last second. Now I didn't want to get all 'Crossfit is the best thing in the entire world' on you, but seeing that kind of display of grit really does something to you.

So here we are now, another revised training plan. I'm going to dig deep, keep going when I think I have nothing left in me, and finish what I started.

If anyone has suggestions on how to make long runs more enjoyable and fun, please clue me in! OR, if you care to join me for a few miles during those long runs, I would be happy to have you!

Accountability. That's what's up.

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