Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward. - Henry Ford
It's now Thursday.
It's been five days since I unfortunately rolled my ankle.
I argue over the fact of telling people how it feels, or what I think may happen come Sunday morning when the gun is ready to go off. I am exhausted with hearing the 'you should do...' and 'you shouldn't do...'.
This past Saturday I had the best race experience I've ever had, and could ever imagine. I never thought that a lack of spectators and hours on an isolated woodsy trail could make you feel so alive, liberated, and stupid happy. I am smiling in every picture from that race, and it's not just for show...it is pure enjoyment. I will never regret this race, no matter what happens from here on with my upcoming road races...so don't ask me if I would make the same decision again, because I would in a heartbeat.
This picture, thanks to Runner's World, shows EXACTLY how I feel. I've been reading different opinions and advice on what I should do, etc...but it always comes back down to my desire to get back out there ASAP, without causing more damage.
I am now brace-less, no longer hobbling, but there is still a slight bit of pain. The swelling is almost completely gone, and the only thing that still seems to be crushed is my spirit. This is my first running-related injury and because of it, though it has only been five days, I feel like a caged animal. I get home from work and I'm not sure what to do with my time I would normally spend running. I'm getting sick of crunches and arm work :) I am envious of every runner I see around the city. I've been bargaining with myself and my ankle that if it just zips back to shape, I will put more effort into my training. I will stop complaining so much...on and on. The quote about setbacks helps to remind me that this (hopefully) is just temporary, and will serve to make me stronger in my desire as a runner and in my ability...hopefully.
Tomorrow we leave for Philly, and I will be bringing all my running supplies/clothes just in case I find myself feeling okay for a lovely, slow 13 miles. If I can't run this race, then I will be the best cheerer out there for my friends, and I will look forward to the trail races to come, and MCM in 45 days.
I will miss wearing my flip flops and vibrams around the office when I'm healed though...