April 05, 2011

Red-faced and red-eyed lunatic!

Some days I am SO thankful I run alone...last night was one of those days. You would think that an extreme allergy sufferer would know better than to think this would be the year I could go out for an easy 3 miles and return home unscathed. Yeah....right.

I made it through the first 1.5 loop okay, but I definitely smelled the allergy-ness in the air and had a brief thought that I would regret this run later.

Jump ahead to the start of the second loop, I was making decent time...about 15 or 16 min for the 1.5 miles, but I could tell my face was getting hot. Running without my water belt was a bad idea :/ Oh the lessons we learn the hard way.

I thought about quitting, I was hot, it was effort running against the wind, thirsty, my eyes were super itchy, etc...then I remembered this blog I read from Kristen Armstrong:

"Failure is not defeat until you stop trying.

How awesome is the idea that we are never defeated if we never stop trying. We may stop and start again. We may change our goal midway and soldier on. We may retire and later re-enter the ring. We may fail miserably and muster up the courage for a do-over. We may let one dream go in order to make room for another, better dream. Or we may realize that the dream we've held close all along matters now more than ever–and we approach it with renewed vigor. We may take time to heal and then laugh again, trust again, love again, run again, start again.

If defeat is for quitters, then the victory remains in the try."

This woman always says things that speak straight to me. I'm pretty stubborn, and I usually hate quitting and/or admitting defeat in any aspect of life.

Yesterday was (self-imposed) "NO QUITTING, NO EXCUSES, STICK TO YOUR TRAINING" week. I was a little peeved midrun that I did this to myself, but if we don't try and push ourselves outside our known "limits", how do we ever expect ourselves to go farther, get stronger, do better, and improve? The purpose of running to me is not all about the joy and fun, and therapy I get from it. While I LOVE to complain about running (obviously), I really enjoy challenging myself and seeing the results of all that effort. I like knowing that it is up to me alone to finish that distance and reach my goals. That's what this marathon is about for me. No one is going to do it for me, and I wouldn't have that any other way.

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